So, you've finally gotten to that point in your miserable life where you want to buy trees from a guy on the internet. Well, Trees for Fees is here to get you on your way to a brighter, greener - and noticeably poorer - future.
First thing's first: how do you choose which tree to buy? Well, as far as we're concerned, the dearer the better! This isn't just because a more expensive tree will make you feel invested in the need to buy more (like the Gambler's Fallacy, but with trees) but also because we here at Trees for Fees LOVE making boatloads of money!
Once you've come to terms with destroying your financial future- er, I mean, picked your tree, next it's payment time! Give us all your cash, because - let's be honest: if you're buying trees online you clearly don't deserve it anyway...
So please, give us all your money. Our yacht is getting too small to hold all our 85" OLED TVs!